they time aint my time

The past week or so i've been slowing down a bit. n it feels so healthy and balanced. like celebrating the small wins. its like im not rushing to build a house on a shaky foundation. but taking my time, (not procrastinating, or laziness) like fully conscious that each brick i lay in my foundation, each moment i put my all into something, not rushing through it, i know it will hold up under pressure and rain, or whatever.

Maybe its having a family and having my time and energy being summoned in so many directions, that when i do have time to myself, i have the tendency to try to rush to accomplish all the things i been wanting to do, and not knowing when i would have more time without being interrupted. because keeping it a buck, that was something that would literally cause me to procrastinate. like feeling that when i do finally get into my zone, i would be interrupted and possibly loose the thought or thread i was following/ tryna record. i think thats why im always curious if Jesus/Yeshua had a family in the left out books of the bible. like what was he on, before he popped back up in his 30's. but i digress. i think about things like that often, because following your purpose seems so much harder being a family man. but anyway.. time. haha.

So this is what i created/ worked on this week:

I made 2 techno beats, they're so good. well i love them so much, i really feel im finding my voice/style with this genre. I finished my Free Game Zoom call presentation, my free gift book (doc/pdf), finalized and submitted my final budget for this grant to receive the remainder of my funds, and a collection of posts for social media. but those posts for social media is whats been haunting me the most. this idea that i've done all of this, and its only on my computer and not out in the world. Like i recognize the value in the 3d and spiritual realms to put yourself out there, to attract divine opportunities and abundance. And i know that people would really benefit from what im creating, if only they knew about it. but im honestly so tired of doing the social media thing most days. so ive been tryna fine tune how i can be my full self, and bring value without it taking so much work to produce to only get minimal exposure. but i know where im heading. it kinda feels like american ninja warrior, where i have6 out of 7 of the obstacles mastered, and i understand the 7th one, but i just havent managed to get up and over the vertical curve wall.

but going back to the topic is taking my time. cause i know that when i have nothing else to create, that is essential to the foundation, i know that when im focusing exclusively on social media/ going viral, i will be able to do it consistently. i just think my energy right now is on organizing my catalogue and laying the brick to my own foundation, then spending time busking. i just seems like when i post im one of those guys that spin those signs on the corner and flip it in the air n dance n shit. i mean sometimes they get people to stop, but it just seems inefficient to me and what im creating, no offense. but i think in slowing down, you find out clearly whats for you and whats not. imma for sure get it though. maybe next week or something.

so if you reading this, its a reminder to go at your own pace, and keep your bigger vision in front of you as you work on tasks toward the bigger vision. n know that things need to be done in phases or you'll have to fix something you did sloppy and fast in the near future. n that could be the difference in being a one hit wonder or sustaining your glow 4 the long term. n thats what im in this for. shit i got kids. im not just doing this to be famous, or go viral on social media. im in this to really be a trusted institution that stands the test of time.